full circle

 

Lately my life has seemed to be a completion of circles.  I suppose this is typical of middle aged people with teens.  We remember what it was like to be teens.  We are getting older, and we feel it.  And the kids are growing into their adulthood, in front of our eyes.

I had a visit this summer with a friend I met at age 11.  She came with her three boys, one now a teen.  I hadn't seen them in two years.  The change that was most striking to me wasn't her little ones, and it wasn't my friend.  It was her oldest son.  When he came to the door, there stood before me a young man, a young man I so remember as a smiling little boy with his two teeth missing.

If you look closely, the boy is still there.  Within the adult, the child within us is still there.  

Thank God for friends to go through life with.  And this is one friend I have had the blessing of knowing well for a long, long time.  I won't say how long, lest you math wizzes figure out my age.

And thank God for these relationships for our kids.  There is something so special about knowing someone your entire life.   

BTW, our kids had a blast.  In case you can't tell.     

in summertime

There was time for driving down country roads, shopping at Anthropologie with my mom, watching Irish dancers, and listening to the Dady Brothers play music, going out for ice cream and a surprise call from a friend who happened to be visiting our coast, all in one week's time.

after dinner on my birthday

Walking around the charming neighborhoods of the Park Avenue area with my husband, my kids and my parents I was happy.  The girls walked ahead, arm in arm and I thought, "I am so lucky.  Look at how much they love each other.  I have done something right."  I looked at my parents, holding hands as they walked ahead of me, a sign of love that has come full circle.  I looked at all of the houses -- beautiful, big ones, some mansions.  I admired the various architectures, colors, old stone fences, magestic trees, patina details, and beautiful gardens.  Each one so lovingly cared for.  Still I wondered, what makes a house a home?  I have thought about this a lot over the years, as before I started blogging, we moved a few times, and lived in different homes.  I have realized it's the people inside that make a house a home.  It's not the place, but the love.  The love makes a home.    

if i post about my birthday four months late, does it make me younger?

Thank you everyone.    

today i went to a yoga class...

original watercolor painting 1991

....Because it was time.  I sensed it.  It had been months.  It took something -- courage, strength, resolve, reserve -- to get me there.  I don't know why it was hard to jump back in.  What I knew this morning was, it was just time.

This quote was on the yoga studio's website;
Nothing would be done at all if we waited until we could do it so well that no one could find fault with it. - Cardinal Newman

I worked with a teacher named Erika.  She talked about opening our hearts to being our authentic self, and as I write it here it sounds kind of cliche', but it was actually really beautiful.  She worked us with just the perfect amount of athletic poses, but also stretches that I needed.  I am very picky about teachers.  Years ago twenty-something Erika and I were in the same class together.  She was the yoga star, the super fit energetic young thing.  We had this incredible teacher named Marc.  After he moved away I tried many classes but I never found a teacher I liked half as much as him.  So I stopped trying.  Now Erika is a teacher with something genuine to offer me, and others.

I liked her class.  It felt great to do an actual class, versus practicing yoga at home which I have been doing.  I naturally worked longer and harder than I do when I am on my own.  And I didn't make a complete fool of myself!

I will go back.  Thanks Erika.  

corner view~longing

original watercolor painting 1993

It seems to me that most people long for freedom from something.

What do you long for?    

friends

Many years ago in my first year, first semester of college, in 8 am philosophy class I met a young woman who became a very dear friend.

We started talking one day after class, and we never stopped.

Thank God for Janel.  Nellie, I call her.

And now my kids consider her kids to be their dear friends.

It is the coolest thing.  I love it when friendship spans the generations like this.   Effortlessly.

our time in virginia...

...Included visits with friends, a visit to Old Town Alexandria and a visit to see Amma.

There is nothing like old friends.  Whenever we go to Virginia we get to see two families - some of our oldest and dearest friends.  I am so grateful that they both live relatively near each other.  And we stay with them, instead of in hotels, which of course is much more fun.   We share meals together, we relax together, we stay up late talking, we play music.  We laugh and talk about years of memories.

There is nothing like Old Town Alexandria.  It is old but alive, artistic, joyous, beautiful, fun.  I love going there, it is a magical place for me.  I lived there in my twenties, and wrote about it here and here.  I love that I got to live there, when I was a single gal, out of graduate school, a working girl.  I love that I got to live with one of my best friends at the time, who is still one of my best friends.  It was while we lived in Alexandria that I was invited to a party with some med students from Georgetown, and at this party my friend met her husband.  I kinda dragged her there, she wasn't in the mood to go.  She was glad we went! 

We took the kids to see Amma.  She was at a hotel in Virginia.  In fact her programs were held in a huge ballroom where twenty plus years ago I attended a conference on multiple personality disorder.  I was interning as an art therapist in a psychiatric hospital, and my boss was the chairman of the conference. 

It was great to see Amma.  We got to talk with her.  She is always so encouraging of the children.  Over the years the girls have performed music for Amma, and she is always so happy when they do this.  In fact it was Amma who first asked Sky to sing in public.   

There is no one like Amma.  That is for sure.  Sometimes she gives apples when you go up for her darshan.  Sky was thrilled to get her first one.  This summer Amma spoke and laughed with everyone.  She comforted sad people and made administrative decisions about her numerous charities and her hospital and gave people advice, all the while hugging everyone who came to see her until all hours of the night, her one cheek bruised from the constant contact she has with so many people's faces and heads pulled to this one side and, as usual, I was inspired.  

ps to halloween -- moderation

When I was a new mother wise people told me to trust my intuition when it came to making parenting decisions.  Time and time again I heard this advice, from my mother, from older parents, from my midwife, from the pediatrician.

Every year when our kids go out on Halloween night we make the most of it and all have fun with it.  But after they are home and we see that they have once again gathered gobs of candy we struggle with what to do with all of it.  We don't think it is good for them to ingest regular quantities of sugar, food dye, and preservatives every day for a month, or longer.  When we have allowed this they have always ended up getting sick at some point, due to the tax on their immune systems (this is our theory).  So we usually let them keep some candy, and give the rest to the local firefighters.  Still we find that after days and days and days of candy after school, they are addicted to sugar, and it lasts all the way through Christmas. 

This year they have more on their plate.  They are busier than ever before with sports, schoolwork, etc.  Annabel is doing theater, writing a "novel" and recording her songs.  Sky has joined a youth group.  And Shawn is playing a new instrument and writing his "novel."  Not to mention the new realm -- tons of socializing on weekends, especially in the evenings, and therefore they are staying up later than they used to.

When we returned from summer travel we decided to experiment and cut video games from their life.  So far the result is more time for creativity and after a little initial grumbling, their lives are no worse for the wear.  They still get to watch videos and occasional tv shows (which have a beginning, a middle and an end).  In moderation.

A month ago we noticed that they all seemed a tad, addicted to sugar.  With Halloween and the holidays coming we decided to stop buying them sweets, and filled the house with more fruits.  Guess what?  Upon initial grumbling, and Why can't we have Doritoes and candy like other kids, this is kinda lame Mom they are just as happy as they were before.  And so far, way healthier.

In addition they all have milk allergies that had gotten bad and two of them are allergic to chocolate.  Guess what?  After the initial grumbling they have all been very responsible in avoiding these foods.

Just a couple of days ago Shawn said to me, "Mom I have been really good at showing restraint.  There were chocolate cupcakes for someone's birthday in school and I could have just had one and you never would have known, but I didn't.  But it was really hard!"

My little man.  He is learning valuable lessons that will translate in time.

epilogue - We offered them dinner at their favorite restaurant and sorbet for desert, in exchange for tossing all the candy.  They countered with keeping some candy instead.  We allowed them to each keep seven pieces of candy.  The rest we gave away.   We witnessed the gathering, sorting, and trading which seemed just as much fun as the eating for them. 

They will survive this deprivation no doubt. :) 

our creepy night

Goth girl, hobo, Edward Scissorhands, Peter Pan and his shadow.

Before we convinced Peter Pan to join us.  Sky and Annabel with creepy eyes to match our creepy night.

When you put on a costume, you assume that identity.  I love doing it but I never take the time to dress up anymore.  One year, at the last minute I put on a wig and I felt so different all night, it brought out my dramatic side and I loved it.  Annabel spent over a month working on her costume.  Shawn and Sky decided 1/2 hour before we left the house that they even wanted to dress up.

Still it was great fun!!