corner view~black and white

Very few things in life are black and white.

Except this photo, and the man on it, and the life that was to come, which seeing twenty years ago, slowly changed my life. 

It was on the cover of a tape that a friend gave me those twenty years ago.  (remember tapes?)
The rest is history.

corner view~ring out the old, ring in the new

This photo of my friend's Buddha made me think of a song from long ago...
Hello world here's a song that we're singin', come on get happy. 
A whole lotta lovin' is what we'll be bringin', we'll make you happy.
Anyone recognize these lyrics?

A new year is always a good time to say goodbye to things we need to let go of and make space for  new experiences.  And what better way to do this than with a smile on our faces? 

We can travel a long way and do many things, but our deepest happiness is not born from accumulating new experiences. It is born from letting go of what is unnecessary, and knowing ourselves to be always at home. - Sharon Salzberg

college

One of the happiest times in my life were my college days.  Saint Mary's College.  Funny, recently my mom and I were talking and she reminded me how homesick I was at first.  I had forgotten.  But I was homesick that first year, even with my brother a college junior at a university across the street.  This was before the days of email and Skype, cell phones and free long distance, when contact meant a hand written letter, or an expensive long distance phone call.

 

However I quickly became acclimated to college life, making new friends, going to dances, football games, and getting into art.  I joined the gymnastics club.  I found a favorite road to take long bike rides.  I took interesting classes.  By my sophomore year I had decided to major in art.

I had always loved art as a kid and teen.  I had taken classes in those days but nothing was like the total immersion into the life of an artist that happened in college.  My professors were real artists, all of them.  There was a gallery on campus that I worked in, learing to hang paintings and display sculptures.  I studied drawing, ceramics, fibers, photography, sculpture, and printmaking.  A couple of hours away was the big city of Chicago with the Art Institute, galleries, and funky cool people...all very new to my small town girl eyes.  

I met one of my very best friends in college.  I just talked to her today, over twenty years later.   What a blessing Janel is in my life.  We have been through boyfriends, break ups, living together in college and afterwards, first jobs, weddings, pregnancies, births, and now raising children...

Last summer Gary, my father and I left Miller Beach one day and drove the kids to South Bend, Indiana, where we visited my college campus.  I had not been back since graduation.  We walked around and went inside three of the four dorms I lived in.  We toured the athletic center and the art building.  Although there are some new buildings, it is pretty much the same.  It was wonderful being there after so many years.   

Then we drove across the street to the University of Notre Dame and my father toured us around.  I have many fond memories there.  When my brother was a student we would visit, have meals together, talk on the phone (with a cord, remember them?)  My brother had nice friends who were fun, he lived with a large group of guys, including a football player, Steve Beuerlein, who eventually went pro.  My senior year of college the Notre Dame football team won the national championship, which was very exciting.  The games were magical, the school spirit there unparalleled anything I had experienced before or since.  

It was a really fantastic day.  Thanks Dad!

the last post of 2011

2011 saw haircuts and home cooking lessons for the kids, new red belts and a blue belt, an ER visit, a Swami visit, birthday parties and contests won by the girls, a special audition, an Elton John concert, a song recorded by Sky, photo shoots, the Ask Skylar show, a song recorded by the three kids for Mommy, two sprained ankles, travel to LA, Europe, DC, and Chicago, a family reunion, all three kids starting back in school for the first time in three years, window tinting and new screen doors and windows, me getting back into painting, and doing art with the kids again, a trip to California to see Amma, new brown belts and a red belt, new friendships, lots of rainbows, and Christmas with Annie and Made.

Lots of love, lots of joy, lots of Grace, what a year. 

Can't wait to see what 2012 brings!

our christmas

This year was the Christmas of tuberose and sunny weather and rainbows, of trampolines for two of the three kids because of one sprained ankle, and backyard landscaping all happening a few days before, and Andy Williams carols on the tape player while Mommy wrapped gifts a little at a time instead of all on one night.

It was the Christmas of things all falling together at the last minute.

It was a Christmas of fresh garden papaya and hummus and lots of different breads for lunch, waffles and pancakes and fresh fruit for breakfast.  It was the last time I ever cook a whole chicken that was supposed to take one hour but took almost three and was eaten so late, but still Christmas dinner (mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, gravy, cranberry relish, green beans) was delicious.

It was the Christmas of our first houseguests -- Annie and Heboh (before the baby) and basketball with the boys and Balinese flutes and the day after Christmas strawberry pie and ice cream every night.  Of laughing and stories, and memories and traditions, of playing Apples to Apples, and teaching Heboh more English.  Of hearing about the reverence of a far away culture, of welcoming their sacred mantras and blessings and realizing that no matter how different we think we are, we are more the same than we are not.

It was, as it should be, a Christmas of love.

corner view~seasonal

Where we are 'tis the season of lots of pretty trees and skies -- Christmas trees and sunsets and cooler air and double rainbows and of course listening to carols and making handmade gifts.  

It is also a time for rest and rejuvenation.  A time of looking back on our Christmases past and seeing just how much the kids have all grown.  For me it is a time for reminiscing and sharing with the family about how Christmas was in the "olden days," the stories my mother has told us, and for our family creating memories of our own.  It is a time of silent reflection and appreciation at the year that is about to close, and anticipation for what is to come.

summer, miller beach

I love my family.

getting a wish

I have been feeling a little left out of the season.  The last week has been a blur of activity, school conferences, final school projects and presentations, Taekwondo testing, and basically, despite our best efforts, burning the candle at both ends.  I wish I could say that I am more ready for Christmas.  I wish I could enjoy a decorated tree.  Shawn is itching to decorate, every night he asks me.  I wish I had my gifts all wrapped and mailed like I did years ago when I started shopping and making gifts in October. 

We're not quite there yet.

We have been sick for the last couple of weeks...this bug has gone from one person to another to another in the family.  Now it has hit me.  With so much to still do, it's kind of a bummer.

Yet yesterday I somehow managed to drive to town and get the perfect gift for the kids, the last one left in the store.  They already know - a trampoline (from us, not Santa).  And then with little effort walking around the store I happened upon a few more great surprises for various people.  All unexpected.  An experience no doubt sent from above. 

Then today when I felt the worst of all physically, my Annabel cooked me lunch, and later she made dinner.  She kept offering to do everything for me and begging me to rest.  "Mommy, I'll wipe the counters.  Mommy I'll organize your desk for you."   Just because.  After dinner all the kids cleaned up the kitchen for me.  Just because.  This afternoon Sky did a huge pile of dishes, and then later put little brother to bed.  Just because.

After a day like this I realize that our children get it.  They get what this season is about.  And I'm not missing out at all.

The tree will get decorated, when we are all feeling better.  We will bake cookies.  We will make gifts.  We will wrap gifts.  We will harvest the herbs.  Everything will get done.  In the meantime, there is love everywhere, even in the chaos of the week.