christmas 2012

This was a quiet family Christmas at home.  It was the Christmas of cookies and a jumbo gingerbread man, of school dances and good grades.  Of beach visits and lots of stories - Henry and Mudge and The Gift of the Magi, and on Christmas morn reading letters of appreciation from our children.  It was the Christmas of having kids over and lots of shopping and nerd glasses and more baking and music.  Always music.  An electric guitar and another keyboard to add to our collection.  The gift of a song sung in harmony.  

We told stories and opened gifts and uttered prayers of gratitude.  

We are blessed. 

the importance of a father to a son

"The father is the bridge to the world."  I remember hearing this when I was in graduate school studying psychology.  It was more of an observation than a fact backed by research.  It was stated by my professor Oftab Omar, in his quiet humble voice.  He had recently become a father of a son.  And I was pregnant with my first child Skylar at the time.  "The mother," he said, "is comfort.  Once the child has the comfort he or she needs, the father steps in and introduces the child to the world."

In many ways the father is the child's first experience of authority.  To the child, in the best of circumstances, he is God.

My husband is a great father.  He is strict, but fun and loving.  He is wise.  He is calm.  He is reasonable.  I wouldn't say he is God, but I would say that our kids respect and revere him, and I am very glad they have him in their lives.

I write this in response to the events on the east coast this past week, to which there are no words.
Just prayers for them all; the kids, the teachers, the families, the school, the town.

corner view~lights

 “Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
-Martin Luther King Jr.

Happy holidays one and all.

corner view~white

White in our neck of the woods and far from home.  Gorgeous in its simplicity.

annie

I love theater.  This past weekend Annabel was in Annie.  She played Lily St. Regis, and got to be the bad girl -- the ditzy Jersey girl.  And wear tons of makeup, which she loved.  It was an impressive middle school show with a large cast.  Their school's first musical ever.  Annabel did great - she had to act, sing and dance, all in heels.  The girl who played Miss Hannigan was hilarious.  The kids worked hard and had a lot of fun.  

The last couple of weeks I went to some rehearsals and helped out a bit.  The director was happy for any time I was willing to give.  I worked with kids on confidence and projecting their voice, stage presence, a little with singing.  It was really rewarding and it seemed to help.  I love working with kids and luckily Annabel enjoyed having me around helping with her friends.  I guess I'm not the coolest mom, but I'm also not the weirdest mom.  I'm somewhere in the middle.  As long as I don't break into song in front of her friends I'm good.      

healthy competition

Annabel and Shawn participated in a Taekwondo tournament.  Boards were broken, battles were fought, and metals and trophies were won.  Sportsmanship continues to develop, because not everyone can come in first. 

Skylar watched, became inspired, and decided to return to the DoJang, so now I have three active martial artists under one roof.  No one will mess with us.

corner view~serendipity

Serendipity has been good to me.  I'll take any serendipity that wants to come my way.
No questions asked.
***
Perhaps the greatest experience of serendipity in my life happened when I found my husband.
Once I hit my twenties I was living in DC, working as an art therapist.  I was well aware of wanting to find my soul mate.  I was looking.  I was dating.  I was meeting all sorts of men.  I even went out with someone named Ernie.  But there was no one who came close.

But then serendipity paid me a visit, even though I didn't see it that way at the time.  I was given a graduate internship at a psychiatric hospital where I made two good co-worker friends -- Megan and Kerry.  They barely knew each other, they worked in different parts of the hospital, but they were in fact both angels working in my life.  Megan was a drug and alcohol counselor on another unit.  She and I connected because we were a couple of the only young people working there full time.  Kerry, a psychologist, came in to work on our unit.  We did group therapy together, in which I assisted him.

After a year, Megan moved out west.  I helped her pack and then she was off.  We stayed in touch through letters and an occasional phone call.  Around the same time Kerry gave me a tape of one of his friend's original music.  I liked it very much.  A year after Megan was living out west she invited me to visit.  I went for a week, to stay with her, in Berkeley.  She took me all over the northern California Bay Area, to beaches, biking, and to grocery stores.  It was a new world, a world I felt very at home in.  The eucalyptus tinged air was perfect for me.  That year Kerry had encouraged me to call his friend, the musician guy.  I never did.  A year later I went back to see Megan again.  Again I had such a wonderful visit to northern California, it was springtime.  Kerry had again suggested I call the musician guy, and this time for some reason, I did.

The moment Gary and I met there was a connection.  Ours was an almost instant love affair.  He loves to tell the story.  He says he knew within thirty minutes of meeting me that he wanted to marry me.  He had to tell himself, "Don't ask her to marry you now, she'll think you're crazy."    

I remember that we talked about the San Francisco Bay Area and also about a book he was writing about creativity.  "What an interesting, kind, refreshing man," I thought.  After a while I was thinking that it was a bit uncanny how comfortable I felt with this relative stranger.  He felt very familiar, like an old friend.  Like family.  I thought, maybe it's because we have a mutual best friend.  Maybe it's because I know so many of his songs by heart.  Whatever it was, I had found my destiny.  He just knew it sooner than me.   

now that it's december...

Plenty of time at the beach. Roller skating (Shawn is getting pretty good!), time sharing new songs on guitar, watching the U.S. election results roll in, visiting Shawn's fourth grade classroom, reconnecting with friends, and our monthly cooking for the homeless (we have recruited many friends to help).  This has been our fall.

This summer the kids got way too dependent on video games.   Since we returned home we have unplugged the kids from video games based on research we found on the teenage brain.  In summary -- There is a second infancy in adolescence, in terms of brain development.  Whatever you do as a teen, you will get really good at.  Teens take risks because the part of the brain that controls judgement isn't fully developed yet.  Also, new research is showing that videos games can be an actual addiction.      

I am happy to report that after initial grumbling, the kids have settled into the torture of no video games, and more limited screen time.  They still get to watch movies and tv shows, and our family still watches iCarly together.   

In addition to school the kids are keeping busy in ways that are good for them.  Shawn is learning piano, making up songs on Garage Band, drawing a lot, and writing a novel -- he is very excited to have completed nine pages!  He is also back at Taekwondo.  It all makes me so happy, but especially the drawing, because for so long he wasn't into it. 

Annabel is writing songs and a novel.  She is also sketching and reading and rehearsing for Annie, which opens this Friday.  She is doing Taekwondo too.

Sky is recording an album, learning tennis, playing piano, and drawing quite a bit.  She also is back in Taekwondo, and writing new songs too.

Gary is recording a new album, which is filled with songs we all love.

And me?  Well, I went grocery shopping last week.  I was very proud of myself. 

i get it

My husband is so happy.

I finally get it.  He has been telling me this all along.  It took me awhile.

An amazing bass player (Rob) came to stay in our house for three days.  This is what I now understand after seeing Gary with Rob rehearsing, recording, telling stories and hanging out with him.

Gary is happiest when he is writing and recording music.  He is an excellent producer, and has ears like few others.  (He has been told this by the bigwig mixers in LA).  Gary picks great players with huge hearts, and enjoys every second of the experience.  He is best when his life is focused on music.  Having a couple of piano students is also good for him.  He is a brilliant teacher.  And teaching keeps him connected.  To music.  Playing gigs do not.  He is a writer, not a performer.    

While Rob was here Annabel played her songs on guitar for Rob.  Sky played piano.  And it was so cool seeing Shawn jam with them - Shawn on drums, Rob on bass, Gary on piano.  It has been a long time since I've seen Gary jam.

My "work" as Gary's promoter, although altruistic to some degree, is unnecessary.  It doesn't inspire him to write.  He doesn't care how many facebook fans he has, he doesn't care who follows him on Twitter, or how many YouTube hits he has.  Social media has its place, it's just not useful to him.  He is very appreciative to me for the time I spent, the care I have for his art.  He is excited for record re-releases in Japan, but more focused, honestly, on the new songs he is writing.  Which is good, because the Japanese folks are doing a great job promoting him all over Asia.

So I am glad I see this now, once and for all.  Because the happiness in his eyes is immeasurable.

Now to listen to some new songs!  

 We love Rob!